On Raising a Socially Conscious Child
The other day, Sweetie saw this ad while we were watching the news
Sweetie wasn’t really paying attention to the TV. She was playing at the table, listening to the tv as a background distraction. But when Ms. Ledbetter states that she had been making 40% less than those doing the same position, Sweetie’s head shot up. It was dramatic.
Then, when the ad states that McCain had opposed a law for “equal pay for equal work”, she looked at the ceiling and began shaking her fists, groaning “McCAIN”.
She is four.
After the TV ad was over, she turned to me and said, “Mommy, why would McCain not want ladies to make the same money? We deserve it if we do the same work, right?”
Wow.
I am impressed.
I am proud.
However, while I am impressed and proud, and love that girl deeply for her amazing insight, I wonder how much to influence in this situation. I know, of course, that as parents we influence our children. I also know that I should teach my children the ideals that we want them to posses. We should teach fairness and the importance of thought. But, I wonder where that influence should start and end.
This election has been a big topic in this house. Ben and I have been talking about it, ALOT. Sweetie began to ask questions. Many questions. So, Sweetie and I began to have daily conversations about the candidates. We discuss who I am planning to vote for (Obama) and why. We also talk about where each of the candidates stand on various issues, like health care, poverty, and education. I love these little conversations. But I am wary. I try to keep it balanced, telling her straight facts, without bias for one candidate or another, even though she knows for whom I am voting. However, I am sure the bias comes across, not matter how hard I try.
It is a tightrope walk, trying to instill my beliefs in my kids, but also leaving enough room for her (and eventually the Wise Guy) to question, find her own answers and form her own opinions. I NEVER want my children to follow my own ideas about politics blindly. I want them to have quest for knowledge in general, and then form their own conclusions. I want to give them the ideals of compassion, integrity, hard work, education, and fairness. Beyond that, their opinions should be their own.
So, as Sweetie shakes her fists at McCain, I question: have I personally influenced her too much (although I know that she was shocked by the stat in the commercial….and thereby thinking and forming her own opinions in that moment)? Have I not given equal time to both candidates?
Or am I getting WAY ahead of myself. She is, after all, four.
7 Responses to “On Raising a Socially Conscious Child”
Leave a Reply
Yesterday, my six year old daughter asked, “Mom, are John McCain and Barack Obama just saying stuff so that they can be president?” My answer was an unequivocal “Yes. Yes they are.”
I wish I could have given her a better answer… but then I’d be lying.
[Reply]
While I understand your concern, I think that there is little to be worried about here – the fact that she accurately assessed a complex but poignant issue for herself is a sign of great modeling for independent thinking. Obviously the point of the ad was to sway people against McCain on this issue and it worked with her, so it is hard to say that she took that stance based on your bias or the commercial’s.
Besides, I think you get enough evidence on a daily basis of her independent mindedness on things. So I wouldn’t worry too much.
[Reply]
i’m sure that we sway their ideas somewhat…but, don’t you think that (quite honestly) anything on tv appears to be reality for them?? my 4 year old often mentions, “oh mommy if you have a headache, take…” or “if you feel like you are having side effects you should talk to your doctor”. well, that and needing a certain toy…
they are in a funny balance between what to believe and what not to believe at this age.
anything may sway them any which way…and that’s how it probably should be…give them opportunity to learn and grow and make decisions!
[Reply]
I think it’s amazing that at the age of four she understands the meaning of percentage. I wonder, maybe it was the tone of the ad, more than the 40% figure thing? Either way, sounds like you have a bright little girl there, and there’s not much we can do to stop the bright ones from moving forward.
I share your concern though. I sometimes wonder the same about our two boys. Then again, I think politics, on this level, is more about values than anything else. When I teach my kids to support peace, or when you teach your girl to support equality, we’re really passing on values, rather than political views, IMO. Yes, at some point, these values will probably shape their political stand, but they have to start somewhere.
[Reply]
You have an amazingly astute little girl. I say we get her together w/ PunditGirl and all the other smart little girls in this country and convince them to run for office when they are old enough.
[Reply]
I tell mine that we live in a “free” country but to never be confused by that statement. Just because it’s “free” doesn’t mean it’s fair or correct. Because I don’t feel it is. And, yes, it makes me mad for her and all of my daughters and myself. And I am trying to think of ways to change that starting where I live. And I think pointing out where our liberties have started disappearing and where we began is a good start. But beyond that this year, the economy, the ‘war’ has changed my opinion on Washington as a whole and not just one party over the other. And when I’m not sure what I believe any more I have a hard time telling them what is “correct”.
It’s all very confusing and sad.
Your daughter has a great head on her shoulders, though. She sounds like she’ll be out there standing up and making a change when she’s older. And if you influenced that? Kick ass, lady!
[Reply]
Thanks. All of you have made me feel better and give me lots to think about. This has been a very interesting conversation. It really makes me thankful to have this blog to share these types of discussions.
[Reply]